Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Vacation... or somethin'

Yeah, we're broke.  But my family is awesome and my kids are only little once and the aliens could come anytime and decide we've grown too big for our britches and assimilate us all into their collective hive-mind so they can make better use of our jewel of a planet, SO, I'm spending money on a vacation.
You can't take it with you to Alpha-Centauri, I always say.
The beach it is.
I hit up the owners I've rented from in the past.  We've had awesome luck with every condo we've ever rented.  Of course, they are all booked.
I combed the VRBO.com as well as every other condo-rental site I could Google-fu.  I sent out approximately 257,322 requests for information.  I got back about 20.
I thought I had one.  2 BR "house", pool "across the street", beach "3 blocks away".
I tell the lady, who is very nice and a private owner, which I like because I want to help people, not some corporate real-estate concern, make money, that I'd like to rent it, so she forwards me the lease agreement.
Yeah, I got a hold of the address.
Hello Google Street View!  How are you today?  Can I see some pictures of...
It's a half-double. It looks like a trailer.
I click around the neighborhood.  No pool in sight.
I click the 3 "blocks" to the beach.
I can already hear the whining.  From my husband.  The kids I can threaten into silence...
There's the ocean...
It's a DRIVE beach.
For those who don't know, there are still a few beaches in Florida that you can drive on.
That's fine.
For other people.
It was fine for me when I was 22 and had no kids and wanted to keep my beer in the trunk.
Now I wheel my beer in a cooler with the juice boxes like a civilized person.
Toddlers and rednecks in jacked up trucks on a beach DO NOT MIX.
I could feel my blood pressure rising just LOOKING at this place.
I could not abide this.
So, I REALLY think I have it now.  One in the same complex as another I rented last year and was greatly enjoyed by everyone.
PleaseDearLordHearMyPrayer. Amen....
(writes a check.)